Fool Me Once
Jessica Joy
ISBN 0-9774682-2-4

Romantic Suspense
224 paperback pages
Multi-format ebook $5.99
Paperback $12.75
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Author Jessica Joy is a mother of three ‘grown’ children. She lives in Canada and has been married to the same great guy for 28 years. ,

Jessica Joy loves writing, reading and crafting, particularly dollmaking and scrapbooking.
         
Jessica Joy writes romance in many flavors. She enjoys mystery and often writes romantic suspense, but loves heart-tugging stories as well. She writes erotic romance and erotic romantic suspense under the pen name Abby Blythe.

Jessica/Abby is hard at work on her next erotic romance Irrepressible, a novella which is a sequel to her novella Incorrigible which was published in the paranormal anthology The Crimson Z.

CHAPTER THREE

"So you don't remember anything?" Lissa stood in the
middle of Blair's galley kitchen and faced Toni. She rested her
hip against the pine cupboard and folded her arms across her
chest.

Toni shook her head. "Not a thing. But Dr. Madigan feels
confident that my memory loss is only temporary."

Lissa grinned; her eyes alight with mischief. "Good
because I want to know what it's like to rub elbows with
celebrities and royalty and wear all those fabulous clothes."

"Me, too!" Toni returned with a laugh, then sobered. "It all
seems a bit unreal." It was disconcerting that a stranger knew
more about her life than she did. "Can I help with the hot
chocolate?"

"The mugs are in the cupboard beside you," Lissa said as
she picked up the stainless steel kettle and thrust it under the
faucet.

Toni pulled open the door to find the mugs lined up in
precise rows on the shelf like stocky soldiers ready for
inspection. Blair's kitchen, like everything else she had
encountered thus far, was uncluttered and impersonal. He
might own this house, but it didn't feel like a home.

As she turned, she noticed Lissa staring at her.
"Busted," she said with a rueful laugh. "Sorry for staring,
but I just can't believe I'm only a few feet away from
someone as famous as you. I knew Blair worked in New York
for a few months, but I didn't realize he actually knew any
celebrities."

"Blair's never mentioned me? We've been friends for a
couple of years." With outward calm, Toni took four mugs
from the cupboard and placed them deliberately on the
counter. Why hadn't he told Lissa they were friends? She
pressed her hand against her knotted stomach and exhaled
slowly before sliding the mugs toward Lissa. Was she so
paranoid that she'd asked Blair to conceal their friendship
from his own family?

Lissa scooped instant chocolate powder into the mugs and
reached for the whistling kettle. "No, but then he doesn't talk
much about his time in New York—though I wish he would."
At least she'd been right about one thing. There was a
shadow in Blair's past haunting his days.

"Why?" she asked. "Did something happen?"

Lissa swirled the spoon in the first mug. "I don't know the
details, but he was shot—in his shoulder and side—and
almost died." Her gray eyes darkened. "All my brother will
say is that he was in the wrong spot at the wrong time."

"He has a frustrating talent for understatement," Toni
observed. She found it interesting the time they worked
together coincided with that tumultuous time of his life.
Blair appeared in the doorway with his giggling nephew on
his shoulders. "Is that hot chocolate ready yet?"

He lifted Jason over his head and then lowered him to the
floor. His nephew made a beeline for the pantry at the end of
the kitchen, opened the door and disappeared inside. When
he emerged, he was sporting a smug grin and hugging a
package of cream filled chocolate cookies against his chest.
Toni laughed at the look of gleeful triumph in Jason's
expression.

"Did you really think you could hide your stash from the
cookie munchkin?" Lissa laughed.

Toni was grateful that Jason's antics had lightened the
mood. She didn't like to think that fame had turned her into a
temperamental recluse, but it was starting to look that way.
Perhaps she and Blair both had issues from their past they
needed to deal with.

While they sipped hot chocolate in front of the fireplace,
Toni was content to watch the interplay between brother,
sister, and the mischievous Jason. She was envious of the
rare but tender smiles Blair gave his sister.

When Lissa and Jason dressed to leave, Toni wanted to
beg them to stay a little longer. Too many questions had
surfaced during Lissa's visit, about him, about herself and
about their entwined past, and she already had plenty of
questions spinning in the murky waters of her mind.

Blair closed the door behind Lissa and Jason and turned to
face her. Broad shouldered and muscled, he filled the small
foyer. "Why don't you unpack, and I'll make us a bite to eat."

"Can I give you a hand?"

He gave a laugh. "I doubt that. By your own admission,
you have trouble boiling water without burning it."

This surprised her because for some reason she thought
she enjoyed cooking. "I've never made you supper?"

"When you invited me over for a meal, I usually picked it
up on the way to your place."

It was the first time he'd made a specific reference to the
past instead of sticking to generalities. "Did we do that
often?" Toni wondered aloud, anxious to learn about the
times they spent together.

A shadow passed over his expression so fast that at first
she thought she imagined it. Goose bumps prickled on the
nape of her neck.

"A few times." He smiled, and though it was warm enough,
it didn't reflect in his eyes. In fact, his gaze was disturbingly
neutral.

"Come on, let me show you to your room," he said. "You
can start unpacking."

Not waiting for an answer, he stepped by her and started
toward the stairs.

Toni studied his back. For such a large man, he moved
quietly and with an intriguing economy of movement. An
image of a panther stalking his prey formed in her mind.
Was he a protector ... or a predator?

The thought stopped her mid-stride. She shook it off with
a weary sigh and continued up the stairs. Blair's paranoia was
contagious. Hopefully, after a hot meal things wouldn't seem
so grim.
* * * *
Her steps muted by a hand-braided rug, Toni walked slowly to
the middle of her bedroom, her arms folded tightly across her
chest. Her memory loss had not only robbed her of her past
but was now sprinkling shadows and doubts over the present.
Every instinct encouraged her to trust Blair, yet she couldn't
shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right between
them, that he was hiding more from her than just information
about her past.

When she'd crossed the threshold of her bedroom a few
moments ago, she'd given an unguarded exclamation of
delight and had once again surprised Blair. Not that his
expression had given anything away, it was something in the
searching glance he'd settled on her that had tickled her
feminine intuition.

Sadly, she wondered how well Blair had really known the
woman behind the public persona. Had she purposely held
him at bay because of paranoia? If that was true, what
changed her mind? She shook her head, determined to shrug
off these somber thoughts.

The amber light of near dusk filtered through lacy curtains
and fell across an antique dresser with an oval mirror and a
wide brass bed. She was sure both pieces of furniture were as
old as Blair's home. A rose colored afghan was draped over
the arm of a Boston rocker sitting by the window. A crocheted
doily on the nightstand and ruffled pillows piled on the bed all
suggested a woman's touch. But whose?

The thought of another woman in his life and arms brought
a burst of jealousy, but did she have any real claim on Blair?
Judging from the sizzling chemistry and taut silences, there
was more between them than friendship. She'd seen flashes
of raw desire in his eyes, a desire her own body had
responded to instantly, but she'd also seen reluctance and
reserve. Whatever the nature of their relationship, it was
clear it hadn't always been smooth sailing. Perhaps her
celebrity status had been a problem for Blair. He didn't seem
like the type who would tolerate story hungry photographers
dogging his footsteps.

Massaging her forehead with her fingertips, Toni crossed
the room to the window and pushed aside the curtains. She
pressed her shoulder against the window jamb and watched
as her breath misted on the glass panes. Her room
overlooked the secluded cove she had admired when they had
arrived. The setting sun cast long, spidery shadows of barren
oak and maple across the rocky beach.

Only a couple of hours ago, a glimpse of that same beach
and a whiff of the briny ocean breeze had helped her snag a
peek into her past. Granted, the disjointed images were brief
and fragmented, but they were too clear and felt too real to
be wishful thinking no matter what Blair said. There had been
delighted squeals of children's laughter amidst the splashing
of a water fight. She could almost smell the aroma from
hamburgers sizzling on a barbeque. But most of all, a feeling
of complete contentment had permeated the memories. It
had been a time in her life when she'd been happy. She had a
feeling moments like those were a rarity in the life of Toni
Greer—the celebrity.

Toni stepped back from the window and let the curtain fall,
watching for a moment as the lacy folds pendulumed back
and forth in front of the window. Reluctantly, she turned
around to face three designer suitcases lined up beside the
bed. Their sleek design looked out of place in this quaint,
comfortable room. She studied them for several minutes
before she grasped the handle of the largest one and swung it
up onto the bed. Like her purse, the suitcases gave her the
same feeling of uneasiness, the feeling that she was intruding
on someone else's life instead of returning to her own.

She exhaled sharply, squared her shoulders, and snapped
open a case to find a layer of sweaters in a kaleidoscope of
vibrant colors. She picked one up, rubbed it slowly against
her cheek, and then buried her face in the soft folds, inhaling
the unfamiliar, musky scent. Shouldn't she recognize her own
perfume?

She studied each item of clothing before putting it away,
and her spirits sank. Nothing felt familiar. Even worse, she
didn't even like some of these obviously expensive garments.
As soon as she could talk Blair into it, she was going to make
a trip into town to buy some comfortable clothes.

Had she dressed like this to maintain an image? If so, why
had she brought them to a place where she had to have
known she could relax and be herself? Had she hidden the
real Toni from Blair because she was afraid he wouldn't be as
attracted to her? He didn't seem like the type of man who
could be fooled by false fronts.

The last item she plucked from the suitcase was an offwhite,
silk negligee. She held it up by its spaghetti straps and
gave a soft laugh. She might not remember packing this
seductive little number, but she knew exactly who she had in
mind when she'd bought it. She draped the nightgown across
the bed, and then slid her hand over the silky material,
wondering if she'd ever modeled it for Blair. Burning color
washed over her cheeks. He only had to look at her and the
air around her sizzled. No wonder he was keeping his
distance. If they had made love, it must be torture to know
what it was like, and not be able to do anything about it.

When a glint of gold on the bottom of the suitcase caught
her eye, she was almost thankful for the distraction. A fine
chain dangled from a small velvet box. Inside, a heart shaped
locket with a delicate floral engraving rested on white satin. It
was a thoroughly feminine piece of jewelry and was distinctly
different from the dramatic pieces she had found in her
luggage so far.

As she studied the locket, a painful lump of recognition
choked her. The miniature work of art cradled in her palm
unleashed a deluge of déjà vu. This wasn't the first time she'd
held it like this. Pain sliced through her head from temple to
temple. Tears clouded her vision as she tried to bring the
images into focus. She let out a growl as much from
frustration as pain and dropped to her knees beside the bed,
digging her elbows into the mattress for support. She sucked
a breath in between her clenched teeth and tried to push by
the pain to capture the indistinct images before they could
fade away. She failed. The images faded, leaving a throbbing
wake behind.

Toni opened her clenched fist. The heart shaped
impression on her palm evidenced her struggle. With
trembling hands, she fastened the miniature work of art
around her neck, and then dug through her purse for the
painkillers the doctor had prescribed, swallowing one without
water.

With a fingernail, she pried open the locket. Expecting to
see a picture of her parents or perhaps Blair, she blinked in
surprise to see her own face grinning up at her. And this time
it really was her face. Mischief glinted in her eyes and dimples
bracketed a brilliant smile. This must have been intended as a
gift for someone, but who? Certainly it wasn't for anyone in
Mason's Cove because from what Blair said, she didn't know
anyone here except him, and it was too personal and too
expensive a gift to give to an acquaintance.

This brought her to another question. Why weren't there
any gifts for Blair or his family? If she'd come here specifically
to celebrate Christmas with Blair, surely she would have
brought presents for him, and for Lissa and Jason as well,
even if she'd only known them by name. Somehow she just
knew that she would have. The more she learned about
herself, the more confused she became.
* * * *
At the sound of a step creaking, Blair froze. In a few
seconds, he would have to face Toni again. His hand
tightened around the handle of the wooden spoon he was
using to stir the soup for their supper. He squared his
shoulders and sent a prayer skyward. If past experience was
anything to judge by, he'd need all the help he could get to
maintain his cover as her friend through the next few hours.
Although the timing of Lissa's visit couldn't have been worse,
her presence had been a buffer between Toni and his unruly
physical reaction to her.

The skin on the back of his neck tingled. He didn't need to
turn around to know that Toni was near by. His sensitivity to
her physical proximity was yet another unexpected and
unwanted element in this ever more complicated mess.

With a smile that was meant to be encouraging, he
glanced over his shoulder. Toni was standing in the doorway.
Her fair skin was almost transparent and pulled taut across
finely sculpted cheeks. Her pallor made her unusual green
eyes even more remarkable. At one time those eyes had
reminded him of emeralds, glittering cold and selfishly hiding
her thoughts. Now, they reflected a heady mix of uncertainty,
expectancy, and trust. Each one of them prodded his deeply
imbedded sense of honor that had never completely
abandoned him. For the first time since she arrived, he
wondered if perhaps the truth might be better than this
facade. But then, there were a lot of things he wasn't sure
about any more.

"I finished unpacking." She rubbed her fingertips against
her right temple and gave him a brittle smile.

"Headache?" he asked. Aram had warned him that she
might suffer from headaches until her memory returned.
Though he didn't want to care, a part of him did, too much.

"A bit," she replied with a half smile.

The casual reply belied her words. Against his will a wave
of protectiveness responded to the pain in her eyes. He
wished he could pull the memories out of her head for both
their sakes.

"The painkiller will kick in soon." She slid her hands into
the back pocket of her jeans and stepped toward the stove.
Her hip grazed his as she leaned toward the pot and took a
deep breath. "It smells delicious!"

But not half as delicious as she did, Blair thought, fighting
the desire stirring in his groin. She smelled of soap and
shampoo, wholesome and incredibly sexy. Somehow he
managed to resist an urge to pull her close and drop a line of
teasing kisses down the side of her neck. "It's just soup."

"I love soup," she replied with gusto, then gave a soft
laugh. "At least, I think I do."

Blair laughed with her then clamped down on the part of
him that enjoyed the sound of her laughter and ladled the
steaming liquid into bowls. Toni hadn't laughed much when
they were together. In all truthfulness, she hadn't had much
to laugh about. Her relationship with Hagen had become a
prison sentence with no end in sight. He'd believed her when
she'd said if she didn't help him put Hagen behind bars for
good that death would be her only freedom. Hagen was
possessive to the extreme and didn't willingly let go of
anything he considered his, and Toni was his most valued
possession. Everyone at the Bureau had hoped his obsession
with her would make him careless and that one day he would
make a mistake that would eventually lead to his downfall.
"You do love soup." He nodded toward the bowl. "Beef
barley is your favorite."

He'd remembered because it had surprised him to learn
that for all her love of fine restaurants and haute cuisine, she
enjoyed simple fair just as enthusiastically. How vividly he
remembered their last afternoon together. She'd sat crosslegged
in a chair, her feet bare. They'd shared a can of soup
and a sleeve of crackers. That had been one of the times he'd
thought she'd let down her guard. He'd learned a lot about
Toni that day and genuinely liked the witty woman behind the
chilly image she'd projected. But not once, during that time
together had desire threatened to take him down at the
knees.

With these thoughts simmering in his mind, he carried the
bowls to the table. At the sight of her wide smile and the
teasing light in her eyes, something inside him twisted. Is this
what Toni would have been like if she'd grown up in a normal
home instead of being raised by nannies and absentee
parents? If she hadn't become involved with one of the
country's most notorious criminals?

The fact that a part of him was trying to excuse her
behavior angered him, but he had to acknowledge her life had
been drastically different than his. He had been close to his
parents. They'd died only months before the ambush. His
comfortable world had been shredded, but at least he'd
known what it was like to be loved unconditionally. Even now,
Lissa clucked over him like a mother hen. He might grumble
about it, but it warmed his heart to know that he had family
who cared.

Could it have been Hagen's love that had won Toni over in
the end? In his own twisted way, Hagen loved her and
perhaps that love had become irresistible. Blair gave himself
a mental shake. He had it bad if he was looking for a way to
justify Toni's actions.

She picked up her spoon, then dipped and swirled it
through the dark brown broth. "Judging from the amount of
clothes I brought, I was obviously planning on an extended
visit. Would it be breaking any rules if you told me how we
planned to celebrate the holidays?"

He gave a single shouldered shrug and a casual smile. "A
tree, a little tinsel, you know ... the usual holiday stuff."
Hopefully, this farce would be over long before he had to
deal with Christmas. Before the doomed assignment, he'd
always loved the holiday season, but not now, and he
probably never would again. Sure, he spent the required time
with Lissa and Jason so that their holidays wouldn't be ruined,
but guilt, his constant companion, wouldn't let him forget the
families who were fatherless during this time because of him.

"Usual holiday stuff? I hope that doesn't mean you're some
kind of Scrooge wannabe." She grinned. "It wouldn't be
Christmas without a real tree. Absolutely no artificial jobbies."

"No artificial jobbies," he replied with what he hoped was a
convincing grin. The laughter sparkling in her eyes was as
uncharacteristic as her attitude toward Christmas. Hadn't she
called herself Toni Mega-Scrooge? Could a knock on the head
change a person this much? His instincts twitched; he would
definitely have to give Aram a ring in the morning. Toni was
starting to feel like another woman, a woman he was finding
too appealing.

"So, when do we get our tree?"

Our tree. She thought of them as a couple, and he saw her
as the enemy—at least his head did. In all honesty, his body
was more than willing ... heck it was demanding ... to claim
her even knowing he bore the scars of her betrayal and would
for the rest of his life. "We can go out tomorrow, if you're up
to it."

"Are you kidding? I'm going to go crazy if I don't have
something to concentrate on other than this black hole in my
head." She put her spoon down in her bowl and tugged a fine
gold chain from under the collar of her sweater.

"Blair, do you recognize this?" she asked as she pulled a
heart-shaped locket from beneath her jade, knitted sweater.
Flowers and ivy were engraved around the edge of the locket.
It was a miniature and very expensive work of art.

"No," he said and watched as she chewed on the inside of
her cheek.

"When I picked it up, I felt like I should remember it," she
said quietly. The locket swung gently from side to side. Her
brows knitted together as she watched it. "As soon as I tried
to dig deeper the images collapsed, and my head exploded
with the pain."

A deliberate, but ragged breath, testified to her struggle
for control. She pushed the half empty bowl away and
stacked her forearms on the table, slightly more composed.
Whatever she had experienced had packed a wallop if just
speaking about it could shake her up like this.

"I think it was intended as a gift." She opened the locket
and leaned forward to show him what was inside.
Biting back a groan, he slid his hand under the locket. An
inch lower and his fingers could rest on the soft curve of her
breast.

"Inside there's a picture of me, so I'm assuming that this
must have been a gift for someone. Do you know who that
could have been? Did I mention anyone?"

Blair let the locket slide off his fingers and shook his head.
Toni didn't have any close women friends. At least she hadn't
two years ago. Mentally, he made a note to ask Drew about
it. Even if she had, she certainly wouldn't have given them a
locket like this. She detested frills and lace, or anything
remotely feminine. Her preference leaned toward the bold
and dramatic. With her blonde, girl-next-door looks, however,
she was often hired to model feminine clothes in romantic
settings. She did it, did it well, and without protest. Toni was
a pragmatist. Her looks had garnered her a large fortune,
which she had invested wisely and turned into an even larger
fortune.

"And something else I don't understand is that if I was
coming here to spend Christmas with you, why didn't I bring
any gifts? I brought enough clothes to last for weeks. It's
hard to believe that I would arrive here empty handed."

She had a point, Blair thought. Toni normally traveled light
and lean, but she landed on his doorstep with enough clothes
to sink a ship, adding yet another piece to the mystery of her
arrival here. "You were going to pick up the gifts here, once
you'd had a chance to get to know Lissa and Jason better," he
improvised.

He and Drew had studied every item in her suitcases,
including a silky little number that had his imagination and
other parts of him doing cartwheels. Unfortunately, their
search hadn't uncovered anything that might help them
understand what had brought Toni to Mason's Cove.

"We'll have to hit the stores right away. I'll need presents
for Lissa and Jason." She grinned. "And you, of course. Maybe
we could borrow Jason for an afternoon and take him to see
Santa."

Blair struggled to mask his surprise by idly moving his
spoon through the soup. She looked and sounded like Toni.
The bump on her head must have done more damage than
they had initially realized because it was hard to believe that
suppressing unpleasant memories could produce a woman
who loved Christmas.

He shook his head. It simply wasn't possible. There could
only be one Toni Greer, only one woman could be this
beautiful or enthrall with a perfectly executed smile.
"Lissa would be thrilled. She's always trying to drag me
along Christmas shopping."

"So you are a Scrooge wannabe," she said with a chuckle
that softened the accusation.

"Busted!" he returned, hoping he would soon be able to
say those words to Hagen face to face and on his terms. "But
you probably had plans to change all that."

"If I didn't before, I do now." She flashed a saucy grin and
waggled her eyebrows, the color beginning to return to her
cheeks. He couldn't help but stare. He'd thought she was
beautiful before, but a laughing Toni was breathtaking.

She picked up a cracker, and then crumbled it into her
soup. "Speaking of holidays, exactly how much time do I have
to turn you into a believer?"

"As long as you feel you need." Once again he was able to
be honest.

"Didn't I have any commitments?"

"Nothing," he replied. "Before you left New York you
cleared your calendar."

Drew had been able to supply that tidbit of information and
another that had piqued his curiosity. A month before Toni
landed on his doorstep, not only had she cleared her calendar
but she'd also hopped on a flight to Italy, disappearing within
a few minutes of her arrival in Rome. In his gut, he knew that
clearing her calendar, the trip to Italy, and her arrival here
were connected, but how?

"Cleared my calendar?" she said. "As in days or weeks?"

"Indefinitely," he supplied. The softly spoken word
changed the atmosphere in the room from teasing to intense
in a heartbeat.

"Indefinitely?" she echoed. Her spoon stopped midway to
her mouth then slowly returned to the bowl, her expression
now a mixture of frustration and determination. "What is
going on?"